-This page is about Organized-Religion.
Did you blame God when you were sexually abused?
If you did, you are like most of us who grew up in Organized-religion. After all, how could the loving and caring God we were taught about in church (Organized-Religion) allow something so horrible to happen to us if he loves us like He is supposed to?
Do you still blame Him? Are you full of anger at Him?
Many abused people who had abusers from their church or had anything to do with their church or religion in general has caused countless survivors to turn away from Organized-Religion.
I know, I did this myself.
It is a very difficult question to answer when someone asks me why God allowed their abuse to happen to them.
I do feel that church or organized-religion, can be a very supportive and nurturing place if it is the right fit for a person. It has to feel safe and has to provide unconditional love..and a place where you can express your spirituality.
Unfortunately, there are many Organized-Religions, churches, (Christian, for example), that get so wrapped up in the dogma and the "rules" that they forget to put the "Christ" back into Christianity and the spirituality in the religion. I also believe that Jesus said to
"Love Thy Neighbor" not "Judge Thy Neighbor".
I also know that many women have turned away from Organized-Religion, specifically Christianity including Catholicism because it is patriarchal in nature and if their abusers were male, it has felt too intimidating to attend a church where the overall beliefs have been dictated by men.
These women go out and search for new "religions" that celebrate the power of women and many times "new age spirituality"...which, these "religions" are primarily ego-centric and a far cry from Christianity!
I believe that the "NEW AGE" "religions" are attractive because they allow a person a lot of CONTROL over their life and that is exactly what an abused person is looking for.
Unfortunately, I never found the answers I was looking for in a deck of tarot cards. I tried, but I just found myself more confused..and I found myself putting my faith in the person holding the tarot cards..who sometimes was myself!
Again, I can understand this feeling because I also felt this way until I had my conversion experience.
This is sad to me in hindsight, because we, as women, should be able to feel safe and comfortable in our church home, with safe, loving men there as role models so that we don't develop the whole "never trust a man again" attitude.
I do think most churches are addressing this issue now and things have improved a great deal.
There is a way to make peace and return to your origin of faith and Organized-Religion if you are willing to do so. I did, and I am sure that you can too if you want to.
There is great power in groups. Great healing. Great support.
Sometimes it takes shopping around for a church or a group that makes you feel comfortable. Like I said, it has to be a good fit for you in order for you to feel safe and able to worship comfortably.
I do know that GOD LOVES YOU, just like he loves me. He/She has never left your side.
Also, God is a spirit, a spirit is neither He nor She, it is both. Man was made in God's image..but so was woman.
You may wonder, like I said previously, WHY He/She allowed the abuse to happen to you? I know I wanted to know that! Well, the only answer I have for that one is this: God CAN prevent bad things from happening and sometimes He does.
Most of the time, He allows things to just happen..but He is ALWAYS with us WHEN they happen, and He is there with us to cry after they happen.
He is there to hold you, carry you, cry with you, take your anger, and still love you more than you could ever imagine.
What helped me was that I finally understood that God allowed Jesus to come to earth to live as a man...a man who felt pain just like I do. That means that he could relate to life's disappointments, sorrows and unfairness. I believe he felt more pain than we could ever imagine. Dying on a cross wasn't exactly a picnic!! That gave me some comfort.
That means he can understand MY pain...and that means a lot to me.
I know that is a simple answer, but who has all of the answers? Only God.
That is just what I believe and what helped me through my grieving process after my abuse and dealing with my anger toward my Christian faith (Organized-Religion).
THERE ARE MANY FAITHS...
Judaism, Islam, etc..to name a couple, which are considered Organized-Religion. Wherever you can worship with others who have like beliefs is important when you are recovering IF you feel supported there.
This is a time when you are going to need all of the support you can get.
Some people get their needs met through self-help groups. Again, it has to be a place where you can connect with God (your higher power) and you feel supported and loved unconditionally. It may not be an Organized-Religion but it is an organized group.
No one can tell you what faith to follow, dear one, but I do know that my faith has indeed saved my life and my church has kept me lifted up when I thought I was going to go under and drown.
What I said, people need to put the Christ back into Christianity. I am seeing it more and more, with contemporary services etc. There is an effort out there.
Take a step and see where you "fit" in. There just might be a church out there for you. If you are not into that, then find a group. Check it out. You can always run out the door if you don't like it.
Don't worry, they will never have to see you again!
Remember, you will need a supportive network of people in your recovery. Start out with a support group for survivors of sexual abuse, AA. NA, AL-ANON or whatever applies to you. There are good people there who will care about you.
If you can't make it out the door yet, just remember, you are never really alone. God is always with you. Just because you can't see Him/Her doesn't mean He/She isn't there! Let His/Her love surround you (like the white light) while meditating. Just TRY it.
You can always come to this site and ask for prayers. I will also put links to other sites where you can go and ask for prayers also. Prayer is a powerful tool and I have seen it's power first hand. Please feel free to email me with other sites that have good prayers etc. I will gladly add their links to my site.
Don't give up on Organized-Religion all together if you were involved in it at one point in your life and it was working for you. Keep an open mind. I have found that how I view it makes a difference in what I get out of it. That is just something to think about.
The most important thing is that you have support around you during your recovery. Develop a network of people that you trust to care for you and love you unconditionally. You need and deserve that.
Ask God's spirit to surround you and protect you every day. May His.Her spirit lead you to your support network, especially if that means back to your own church (organized-religion) where you might see God with new eyes and a new heart.
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To learn more about anger and how to release it, go to my anger page at www.soul-expressions-abuse-recovery.com/anger.html
Belief Corner is a forum where people of all faiths are welcome to discuss and debate the merits of Christianity.
A great link regarding Spiritual Warfare, which is sometimes associated with organized religion, is:
At Practical Spiritual Warfare you will find valuable information on the
spiritual warfare going on for the souls of man. The content is practical
and usable as apposed to emotional or sensational. Practical experience
with what has worked and what has not worked forms the basis of the content.
Emphasis is on bringing change for the renewal of man's mind for
Return to Spirituality page from Organized-Religion.