by Perla Garcia
(Las Vegas, Nevada, USA)
Living day by day, thinking about what tommarrow i will say. Knowing i will have to lie, about my feeling problems in life. The happpiness is fading, the problems coming back. My anger is escaping, while i carry a 10-pound sack. Its full of hatered, sadness, pain and more. Itf full of tears and crys that made my eyes get sored. My best friend, there are people keeping me away. I guess they don't watn me to stay. She needs me by her side, that is where i belong. They don't know we are the best of friends, that we even have our own theme song. I guess we "were" the best of friends. Until vanessa came, and thats where it all ends. She took her from my side, in a blink of an eye. Knowing that i have a fucked up life, and that is "not" a lie. I quit the "cutting" and the "dope". But when she left, she took my happiness, dreams and hope. No one understands me and her. We are like sisters, the mother daughter kind. We suffered both the same, her a bit more. From abuse to hits, even if we were sored. Where is god? the mighty god? The day i need you most. I guess you just were'nt there. I never felt your love and care. I took abuse and hits, but can't go on no more. So i just turn to that one "friend" It doesn't judge, hurt, or laugh at me. Its only there for pleasing me. It takes away the pain, yet one day later its still there. Now in company of a scar. Each scar and scars represent the pain. One of these days i go insane. There will be the night i cut to deep. And that night will be when i forever go to sleep. The scars have names, faces, and more. If they find out, they'll be waiting at the door. They'll call the cops to take me away. They won't care if i yell "I WANNA STAY!" So a secret it has become. No one understand cause the inside never show. The mask is falling day by day, and again i am thinking what tommarrow i will have to say. Is there someone out there? That someone who will give me love and care...