Survived it to now

Ok it all started when I was 3 my dad would give me baths and more because my mom had passed away. But when it had came to my 4th birthday he had put me in the tub like normal. He started washing me like normal but then he touched my boobs and my vaggy (short for it). I thought it was just something new you did when you were older and taking baths. But then he took me to his room instead of mine I told him that but he just shut the door and layed me in his bed. He had taken off his pants showing his d__k and said this won't hurt much. He had pressed my vaggy then stuck his d__k up my vaggy soon he sucked on my nipples and more. I said Daddy why are you doing this you aren't suppose to touch me there. He just ignored me and kept doing it. Later when he was done he said don't tell anyone this will be our little secret then he dressed me. That night he snuck into my room and started to do it the next morning my brother and sister saw my dad in my room with his dick showing. They were afraid though to tell anyone. They said DADDY! They were about to call the cops when the cops answered my dad pulled his gun out of his pants that were laying next to him and shot them. For all these years he had done it to me then when I was 14 and had a boyfriend he stopped knowing my boyfriend would eventually do it. I didn't think at the time what in the world is happening I let him do it and he kept using dick in sentences but i didn't know what i d__k was!