stuck

by jessyca torres
(glendale)

what do i have that i do not see.
his hands touching me where i feel weird.
its the first time i really feel scared.
locked up in a room where its dark and no light to spy.
the covers under me ready to be used.
my hands are stuck to the bed not wanted to move.
his kissing me when i do not feel any love for him, his forcing me to do things that i learned not to do cuz of health.
im stuck some where im not suppose to be in, im suppose to be with my friends or family that would protct me from the dangerous things like this.
i need to leave i try to get up but he pushes me and thats when i yell and he hits.
im stuck in a place that makes me want to leave but there is no place to get out.
i need to do something but he struck me and i yelled and cried and he keeps telling me that i can take it.
i hit him where it hurts and i run out the room and i did not stop ill i wanted to do was leave that place i was stuck in for 3hrs.
i was brusied and bleeding from the hits.
then i suddenly stopped and fell to the ground and when awoke i was surrounded by white walls and white blankets it took me 2 minutes to find my self back in a stuck place i was in the hospital and i was attached to some wires i first i thought i was dead but i was ok i had my life and blood runing still.
after a few minutes my mom broke in the doors and said the words i would never forget but can't trust.
"i would never leave you in a stuck place".
but its hard to trust those words because when i need her she is never there for me so i started cutting and overdosing and i wanted to die and leave the place i was stuck in.
but its hard and i want to write this before i die and before i am ready to leave this world and be in a unstuck place which is on top of the world or heavan so i want to thank my family for their love but i have to go...bye i need to leave this stuck place that took me awhile to leave untill i believed in drugs and that helped me leave the place but took me to another place that i got stuck in so instead i had to cut and bleed to death.
i can imagine my family surrounding my coffin where i rest and never come back and become someone in a place where i can leave and have freedom not like the place i was stuck in when i was young.

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