Strong, Funny, Beautiful Latina

Let's see, let's see? The traumas I've survived are I was molested when I was 4 years old by a neighbor, raped at the age of 20 and 21. Well I'll continue with my stats, hmmm... I'm 28 years old Latina slender and athletic, tall, intelligent young women. I come from a low income Mexican immigrant background. My parents were both born and raised in Mexico I was born and raised in California. Spanish is my first language. I have a BA degree in Psychology with a minor in Raza Studies. My work focuses on counseling at risk youth. The ages I've counseled have been a range from 3years old to freshman in college. Currently I counsel elementary school at risk kids and assist at risk high school youth by interpreting for their Spanish speaking parents. I've been sober for 7 years from alcohol and drugs.

I'm a combination of being a wounded, healed, and scarred healer. I have been in continues therapy since I graduated from college in 2004, so that will be about 4 years. I have a psychiatrist and I take 2 anti-depressants and one light weight anti psychotic. The trauma I have is so bad that when I become really really afraid in relation to triggering my PTSD I experience hallucinations, visual and auditory. It isn?t like acid trip hallucinations more like, I'll here an appliance moving by itself and it was not. Or I'll see figures on my side view when no ones there. Let's see, I also am a member of a 12th step group for recovery from alcoholism. My therapist, psychiatrist, and what I learn, experience, and friends in my 12th step group are all essential to my self care.

I know, it's a lot of work. I must say, I have complained by saying, " Why do I got to do all this work just to stay level, this is not fair!" Something like that. Luckily I've inherited a good sense of humor from my dad. My sense of humor has helped me persist with all of this self care work. You know like, I look at my friends in my 12th step group and then think of how funny it is that we are all sober and spinning donuts at 2am in the middle of no where's. Or when I work with youth and I notice how the kids I work with remind me of my funniness or my friends in 12th step. I take care of this one kid who is so hyper I actually noted on one of my counseling observation sheets," He is on the floor at the wrong time in class, literally! (Lol!) That made me laugh. He was underneath his desk on the floor. I love that kid. :) That's one thing I highly recommend for survivors; work on enhancing your sense of humor. I have, sure I had some to begin with, before extensively working on myself, but I've focused and developed it. It's fun :)

Above all I am a survivor. I would not survive if I did not attend to my wounds, laugh, and follow my passion. I think I'm caring by nature and I have a genuine child like spirit. So of course helping at risk youth who grew up like me is a calling that works well with me. I couldn't continue to do my work with presence and love if I am not present for myself and not loving myself.

I know, fellow abuse survivors. This sh** is hard. But we already survived the hardest part, for real. I think about that. Me, brave little girl, was able to find a way to have my spirit survive despite being molested. You have done it to! Maybe you were a sweet little kid, or funny kid, and you figured out how to keep living. I was a brave, curious, high energy kid.

I still have wounds that bleed that I am currently attending to. Sometimes they bleed as I work. But I just keep slowly doing my best to attend to my very deep wounds.

I have scars that show up at work to. I can't help it. Like my nervous disposition, my jumpiness, and tenderness. I learn to accept these PTSD scars and use them as assists at work. I use to like to surprise the teens I worked with by being open about my nervous sensitive disposition and then hit them with strong consistent strictness. I would get a kick out of their surprise that I was strict and had a nervous disposition all at the same time. I think that helped the youth I work with realize its ok to be scarred from trauma just don't let it get in your way of expressing your strength.

Ok that's it. Ok peeps, focus on something funny and don't forget to be present and love yourself so you can be present and love your clients. And like one of kids I work with loves to say, peace!

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