So Long Ago
(Canon City CO USA)
I have to find others that can relate, I've been searching for reasons why I've felt so horrible, been sabotaging fairly normal relationships (compared to others) and worrying that somehow I'm not going to protect my son. My abuse started when I was about 4 years old and I'm just now realizing that the little girl inside of me is begging to be loved, wanted, appreciated and...adored like the princess that she is. The abuse continued until I was 11 years old. Before I finally spoke with a caseworker and told them what had happened, my mother passed away. I had told her when I was about 9 years old but she told me that it was okay and that was how my daddy was showing his love for me. Needless to say I have no idea what true love is but I can say that I had years of therapy that helped me to not engage in the other self-destructive behaviors. I just allow myself to be treated poorly and put down so all the therapy was not as helpful as I think the information on this site is going to be. I also am pursuing a bachelors in human services management.