So Confused

So this all happened from before I can remember to the last day of preschool (and daycare).
So we move to this nice neighborhood, the daycare is a short walk away, me and one of the younger kids their become BFFs. All is good, not. So I didnt even realize what he did was wrong until 5th grade; didnt realize how much it effected me till a few weeks ago.
So you know how when your reaaaaaaaaaly young the kids older than you are like gods, you just dont question them. What happened to me is extremly confusing because of our age, idk if he knew what he was doing or not. All that I remember is that whenever we were alone he would run his finger through down there.
He convinced me it was a game, and being a little kid when my parents asked what I had done that day I told them the most exciting stuff, a game played reguarly isnt a big deal.

So in 4th grade I start suffering from depression, 5th Im diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and all my life Ive had issues with stress. I told my mom one day going to my therapist, she spent 2 hours parked in front of pappa johns and subway before I told her. I recently told what I thought to be good friends this, but thats another story.
Anyways so the perve still rides my bus, lives in my neighborhood, and plays on the same team as my brother. I hate bus rides needless to say. Like I said earlier, the hardest part is not knowing if he did what he did knowing what he was doing or not.