georgie

by georgina mckenna
(ireland)

Im 43 now my abuse took place when I was seven
I didnt know my own truth as it wasnt me or so I told myself
or it didnt happen im making it all up
after all Im Daddys princess arent I?
succumbing to my jailor

Nowhere to run nowhere to hide no place is safe
His nakedness haunting me choking me
His smile His laugh His neediness
I was his

Wheres my mummy i need her now
Why did she leave me
Im frightened now cant breathe afraid to move afraid to speak
Im leaving now Ive found a quiet place its safe here I want to sty here forever but I know that I must return
It really isnt good to be me Im never going to be me again
Im going to become someone else and no one will ever know

But I do know or my body knows and it in turn speaks to me and
again i find myself with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide for it is not safe to be me

I can see me now blonde hair blue eyes laughing smiling playing
free as a bird she makes me smile and feel happy when i see her like this

BANG!

just like that she was gone
i dont know where just not there

or here
i hope to find her someday

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May 06, 2011
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sorry
by: Anonymous

Hey Georgie i am so sorry that has happend to you it happend to me to just it was my step dad and my mom knew about it way before it happend. But yet she chose to ignore it and now look.

May 06, 2011
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Annoymous
by: Anonymous

Hey Georgie i am so sorry that has happend to you it happend to me to just it was my step dad and my mom knew about it way before it happend. But yet she chose to ignore it and now look.

May 06, 2011
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Annoymous
by: Anonymous

Hey Georgie i am so sorry that has happend to you it happend to me to just it was my step dad and my mom knew about it way before it happend. But yet she chose to ignore it and now look.

Jan 31, 2011
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addendum: I can relate
by: Anonymous

I've been blonde for most of my life. Recently I dyed my hair black..my natural hair color. It's time!

Jan 31, 2011
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I can relate
by: Anonymous

I was 8-9 yrs old when it happened but it wasn't my father. It was my uncle who came to vist us one day while my father was at work. He told my mother that he wanted to 'reward' me for helping out so much. I was the eldest of eight children, so of course it made sense that I should be given some recognition for helping out so much, I remember being confused for all the attention. I felt it was natural to help out since I was the oldest child. But my mother was so excited for me, she practically pushed me out the door and into his car. Actually, she did exactly that, To make long story short - he tried to have sex with me. I refused to sit on his lap while he sat naked on the closet floor of an abandoned house. He kissed me, tried to tongue me but it was ugh! OMG! He was 25 Years old trying to get with an 8 year old child! I was devastated that day! I couldn't tell anyone because he threatened to kill my parents if I ever told. So I lived with my dreaded secret as he attacked me over a period of 4 years. I had no self esteem at all. It took me years to recover. One of the things I learned was that my father was a bombass fighter and protector of all innocents especially children. He would've beat the living daylights out of my uncle! Also I was not the only victim. There were more little children. One girl came forward and all hell broke loose. She was called every foul name in the book. No one believed her. Everyone turned against her. But I knew the truth. I stepped forward and told my mother about what happened to me. The truth became known. That was the beginning of my healing. I'm still healing. I'm okay but it's been a long journey. I will be 56 year old this year.

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