georgie

by georgina mckenna
(ireland)

Im 43 now my abuse took place when I was seven
I didnt know my own truth as it wasnt me or so I told myself
or it didnt happen im making it all up
after all Im Daddys princess arent I?
succumbing to my jailor

Nowhere to run nowhere to hide no place is safe
His nakedness haunting me choking me
His smile His laugh His neediness
I was his

Wheres my mummy i need her now
Why did she leave me
Im frightened now cant breathe afraid to move afraid to speak
Im leaving now Ive found a quiet place its safe here I want to sty here forever but I know that I must return
It really isnt good to be me Im never going to be me again
Im going to become someone else and no one will ever know

But I do know or my body knows and it in turn speaks to me and
again i find myself with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide for it is not safe to be me

I can see me now blonde hair blue eyes laughing smiling playing
free as a bird she makes me smile and feel happy when i see her like this

BANG!

just like that she was gone
i dont know where just not there

or here
i hope to find her someday