Your Abuser or "the Thief"
Do you realize that the abuser or abusers who hurt you were thieves? Why? Because they stole valuable things from you, each depending upon your age at the time of your abuse.
For some women, their whole childhood was stolen and with it their innocence.
Since I was 12 when I was first abused, I can honestly say that my childhood up to that point was relatively great! So many of you, my dear sisters, are not that fortunate.
What does this abuser, this "thief" steal from you? I have compiled a list that might ring true to you:
1) Your innocence
2) Your virginity
3) Your self respect
4) Your will
5) Your ability to experience and recognize real love.
6) Your ability to mature normally.
7) Your sense of safety or security.
If your abuse involved incest (a member of your family as the abuser), here are even more:
8) Damage to your family relationships that were possibly
healthy at one time.
9) Your sense of "right" and "wrong" (confusion).
10) Possibly your home or place of residence if you were taken
from your parents.
11) Your knowledge and understanding of "self".
12) Your pre-abuse coping skills.
These are just a few..but I am sure that you can make a list that you can go on and on...
If you examine the things the "thief" stole from you during your grieving process, it can help you to allow yourself to feel the anger from the losses.
Anger is definitely appropriate when someone steals things that are valuable and sacred to you.
Only through expressing anger safely can you release your emotions held inside of you left to fester like a sore in your heart over the years. Only through anger can you make your way through the steps of grieving and find your way to self forgiveness and peace. Remember, many times anger covers hurt and pain and once you can release your anger you can begin to heal the hurt person inside of you.
Does this abuser "thief" deserve to be forgiven? WEll, I gues that is not for me to decide. That is a personal decision for you, however; any type of forgiveness that is done is strictly done for YOU.
Only through self love and forgiveness of any guilt that you may feel and acceptance can you truly make peace with yourself including your inner child. Through this process, you will also learn how not to allow anyone to emotionally steal from you again!
I pray that you strive to find peace in your life my dear sisters. My blessings and prayers are with you!