Maintaining-Recovery, Getting and Staying Healthier
This is about Maintaining-Recovery.
Again, I will say, recovery is a PROCESS that is neverending. You need to continue Maintaining your Recovery.
It gets better and better..but just when you think you have dealt with all of your issues... WHAM!!! One of you issues rears it's ugly head!
The difference now? You are more ready to deal with it effectively.
One thing that I feel is extremely important in Maintaining-Recovery and also that is extremely common among sexual abuse survivors..especially after they decide to get involved in some type of relationship, is
Partner Intimacy Issues
Unless you deal with this one, it will be like having an elephant in your livingroom! I guarantee it!!
If you read "My-Story", then you will know that it took me literally YEARS to finally trust someone enough to be in an intimate relationship.
Yep, I have been in a lot of relationships, but sure wouldn't call them "intimate" in the true meaning of the word!
An intimate relationship is when you are ready to "open up" and really let someone "in" to your emotional self.
It is SCARY STUFF!!
I know from experience!
After all of my unhealthy relationships, and swearing never to date again, I would have been reasonably happy just living alone with my two cats forever...or at least I convinced myself that!
The problem was, I wanted to have a life partner. For me, it was a husband.
I think that God was pushing me too..and many times I ran screaming the other direction!
When you do choose to become involved intimately with someone, you will need to understand communication, your needs, your significant other's needs and how to express them.
Check out the partner intimacy issues page..I think it will help you.
Another thing that is common with survivors is
and, believe me, they will come up!
Why? because how we parent is a great deal of a result of how we were parented or not parented as a child.
Your child or children can bring up your sexual abuse issues faster than you know!
Be prepared! Read the page on parenting issues and see what I mean. Hopefully it will be of some help to you.
Use the Love and Logic parenting link. They are the greatest experts I have found personally!
Now, your self esteem probably has increased some through your recovery process so far..but not as far as it needs to go!
Do we ever think we look 100% fantastic? I know I don't.
It is not about that. In Maintaining-Recovery, It IS about loving yourself and feeling that you have self worth.
It also is about learning ways to keep increasing your
and having ways to continue to make you feel safe and healthy and beautiful, like the person that you are!
Check it out!
I am so very proud of you and your bravery, dedication to yourself and your hard work!!
I know that it takes all of these things and more to make it this far!
The reason I say that recovery is a neverending process, and that Maintaining-Recovery is so important is because you probably will have times when you feel depressed, have nightmares, remember forgotten parts of your abuse, etc...
but you need to practice what you have learned in order to be ready for when these things arise!
I have added a new page called:
for women in the "helping" professions whose sexual abuse issues get triggered when working with people dealing with their abuse issues.
Adding this page was in response to me getting an abundance of emails from visitors of this site with hopes that you will gain some help from it and encouragement to add your own "recovery story" on the
page. This would be a great asset to this site and a wonderous gift to your fellow sisters in recovery who are hurting out there! Please visit the new page and see what you think!
Blessings to all of you, my sisters!
You all truly blow me away with your amazing strength and courage!
Search here for great books on sexual abuse including: "The Courage to Heal", book or audio, $9.99 and $5.99, "The Missing Peace" $5.49, "The Spider and the Fly" (about all types of abuse) $4.99, "Beginning to Heal" $3.99, "I Never Told Anyone" $4.99, and "Set Free", a spiritual perspective of healing, $5.99. All at least 63-64% discounted prices! Other great books too!! Search yourself and see!
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